Sunday, August 23, 2015

Emptying My Cup


First Leg

I know Pierre has made the first leg of the journey, and as I write I’m not sure whether he is still waiting in a box stall in Minot, ND or is on the trailer starting the 1700 mile journey to Santa Paula, CA. I will know soon.

These final days of waiting create a wonderful space.

In the space between horses I have mourned and said goodbye to Ozzie. I have cleaned, inspected and prepped my tack and supplies. The small tack room I have created in my garage has some lovely timothy hay – Oh there is nothing quite as delicious as the spring, green smell of good Timothy hay – a bag of alfalfa pellets, and other stuff waiting to be moved to the new tack room where I board.

As the days neared for Pierre to begin his journey from Canada to California I got a gentle reminder from an incredible horseman, who just happens to be a woman. She reminded me that this new horse is an individual. Is not Ozzie. And I must be wary of comparing him to all that Ozzie was to me - what an important reminder, and perfectly timed.

And while reading a book just now, a thought shot into my head.

I was placing all my hopes, all my dreams on Pierre - before I had even laid eyes on him. He is on his way to me. Being handed over from the breeder, to a barn, to a hauler, then to me.

And here I was imagining all the things we would learn together, all the miles of the trails we would explore. Wow.  What a lot of pressure I was placing on him. He had a lot to live up to. For a four year old horse.

I need to empty my cup.

My cup was so full it was overflowing with ideas, thoughts, things I think I know, things to learn, to do – there were moments where I would center myself, and remind myself of the unknown aspect of what was to come – but then the excitement again would kick in… that is ok.

A new horse is coming. I can be excited.

But then and there I dumped my cup out. I want an empty cup when I look upon Pierre for the first time. No expectations. Just curiosity.

Openness and space.
For whatever comes.
Open heart.
Open mind.
Hands open and soft.

1 comment:

  1. I understand what you mean about expectations- I have to constantly remind myself not to get too ahead of as a endurance greenbean with my first horse that I pulled from auction a year ago; she's a natural athlete but mentally we have to go at her pace- be it slow or fast. So happy to hear that you've got a new boy to look forward to, looking forward to seeing updates!

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